it's been a tough year for our department (as it has been most everyone, everywhere), and we've been worrying and whispering about potential layoffs for months. i've been alternately losing sleep and humming "que sera, sera," thinking about possible next steps, but really always hoping--most earnestly--that i wouldn't need to take them.
for the first time last week, the rumors became disturbingly focused: cuts would come within the week.
sigh...
waiting for the other shoe to drop/the sky to fall/insert any "disaster" cliche here is no fun.
how to cope? i've been running (speedwork and hillwork to ensure just enough tiredness for a good night's sleep) and crying every chance i get. ok, not really crying. (not yet anyway.)
everyone has a song (or six or twenty-six) that provide mind-easing, soul-soothing comfort, for whatever ails them, yes?
or am i merely insane?
well, i've been listening to "crying"--track 2 on tv on the radio's "dear science" album--obsessively, morning to night.
i am digging the whole album, but "crying" is THE ONE, hooked me from the first funky cymbal shimmer. i was in car last weekend with my mom, driving to trader joe's, and i popped it into the cd player for a first listen. poor mom was mid-sentence (something about butternut squash soup?) when i interrupted her--"ooh, i like this, let's hear it again...ooh, ok! i love it! one more time! again!!"
i can't get enough of the funked out bass line, the falsetto and the horns (there's something sort of "fine young cannibals" about it. and prince, of course). it's groovy and hot and yearning. and it's actually sort of apropos (hold your breath through late breaking disasters...got you cryyyyying, cryyying, oh whyyyyin', oh my my my).
it's irresistible. i HAVE to dance and feel good when i hear it.
i think it just might be enough to keep me from crying in the coming days.
